JOY in the future... and whatever that brings.

 The movie I got for Christmas, on Obstetric fistulas. 

Recently I have made the decision to go back to school.  I have always had the heart to continue my education, but I have been weary as to what program to start.  There are so many options with nursing... research, nurse practitioner, education/teaching, manager/charge nurse promotions... etc.  I spoke with quite a few of my peers and received advice from all, but some yearnings in my heart will not fade.  Some advice I plain did not agree with (as far as basing decisions on finances, school reputations, prestige, etc).  While the advice was appreciated, it made me more confused as to how I wanted my life to look.  I felt like the more people I spoke with, the more they discouraged me from entering into Midwifery (which I have always felt a calling for).  I got advice to go broader- spectrum and do a Family Nurse Practitioner (which includes women's healthcare) but I never felt settled about it.  It made me uneasy and I knew that I needed to spend more time praying about the right decision.

So, after spending a night praying over the decision, looking up advocacy websites, reading old journal entries, and watching the inspirational and yet gut-wrenching documentaries of the conditions in Africa... I knew felt peace about starting school to be a midwife.  I was listening to others opinions over my own heart and what the Lord was trying to tell me.  I was not settled with the decision until I took time to analyze my own heart and my own dreams.  I HAVE dreamed of going overseas (for however amount of time) and starting a schooling program for others to be skilled birth attendants.  Looking at the facts that most maternal and neonatal deaths can be prevented with simple knowledge and a basic understanding of the process... it just makes my heart sink.  I may not know in what capacity, but I know that the Lord is preparing my heart for this.

I was able to meet with a Midwife from Duke recently after I finished the ECU application.  She was so encouraging and she gave me some good advice.  She was honest with the barriers to care and the hardships she has discovered while practicing, but she also praised the profession and the level of influence we, as providers, can have on women.  I am so excited to begin this new advance in my career and start learning more about caring for women and healthy pregnancies.  

On my way to meet Amy!!! I was SO excited!